Yesterday and today weren't the greatest of days health wise.
So I stayed in most of the time, slept, watched some movies and read a little.
Today I watched "50 First Dates" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.
For those of you who don't know what it is about:
Lucy had an accident and lost her ability to retain short term memories.
To keep her from the ugly truth, her father and brother and some family friends go through great lengths to make it apear it is the day after the accident, she can't remember, over and over and over again.
Henry who is usually a real Player falls for her and makes her fall in love him anew, every day!
I won't say anymore, because if you haven't seen it, watch it! It is really worth it!
Seeing this movie made me think about Simon. And then it struck me!
He is my Henry!My memory loss problems aren't that severe as they are with Lucy.
They usually entail forgetting to pick up the thing I didn't think necessary to put on the list, forgetting some conversations I had (or parts of them) or not remembering things I need to do.
To most people I just seem clumsy or careless.
It always depends on my day. You see the pressure in my brain affects different parts at different times.
That is why sometimes my speech is impaired or my motoric functions, my vision or my balance and quite often my memory.
Simon copes with it.
Yes, he has the odd moments where he would rather strangle me but mainly he stays calm and sorts out the mess.
Another problem we have to deal with are my mood swings. I get very aggressive when stressed, I become overly depressive for apparently no reason, which is all (or in part at least) caused by the Pseudotumor Cerebri (in the future this will be shortened to PTC because I am too lazy to keep writing it out...).
Again, Simon copes with it! He sticks around where others have upped and ran.
He even goes so far as to pick the fight he knows is coming to get it out of the way. After, he comes up and asks "Do you feel better for that?"
When I am having a bad day, I am a real bitch (please excuse my French, but there is no other word for it). He puts up with it. Well not all of it... he does argue back a lot :-)
For Christmas he had a little photo book printed for me (although I did get it early because he thought I needed a cheerer upper). In it where his memories of his life with me! The trips we
we took, things about the kids, our house, the area we lived in and about my work.
On every page there is a little note. Some make me laugh, some make me well up.
He did this for me...!
On his birthday, after not having seen each other for 5 months, he suddenly stood there at my school, in the middle of me giving my class!
He flies over almost every month for a long weekend even though I left England.
We could have stayed there, together but I, knowing myself as I do, know that I would have pushed him away. It might not have been easy, because he would have fought me, but I have had a lifetime of pushing people away. I know how to do it! And I know, I would have succeeded.
Most people don't understand how leaving him saved our relationship, but I know it did.
And you know what:
Simon never says "I wish you hadn't left", he says "I wish we had never moved to England".
He is trying to make me feel better about the fact we are not together, even though he suffers terribly from not being able to see us everyday.
On the other hand, he would have never been able to work the amount of hours he is doing and gotten to a position in the company which in the hopefully not too distant future will allow him to work from home, if we had stayed there. "And if home is Germany," his boss said, "then that is OK with me!"
Simon is the kind of guy that makes me coffee, even though he hates the smell.
When he proposed to me he had shaved for the first time in thirteen years because I don't like beards!
He learned how to do Make-up (from me) so he would know what to do if I needed help on a project.
He loves my children as if they were his own!
He knows, that I am not likely to get much better any time soon. He know there is a very good chance things will get worse. I gave him every opportunity to bail out but he stayed right by my side (though temporarily not in person).
Heck, he has asked to marry me, that should speak for itself!
Simon does or says something every day, that makes me fall in love with him that little bit more.
Simon, you are my world.I love you!Oh and I did make that phone call to VW only to be told that I needed to put it in writing....
Go figures.
