So what if I have become a MySpace junkie...

Well, now it's done it!
I have finally let myself be badgered into having my own MySpace site!!!
It's sad isn't it?
Well, go ahead and have a look and feel pity for me!!!




Oh well, I had a good reason for doing it though...
It gives me the opportunity to keep in touch with my new found old relatives, who almost all have their own MySpace site.

2008... Oh great...

Well, the new year is of to a rough start...
I had a big argument with my friend that was over at New Years, over nothing, really.
Simon had to go back to England on the fifth and somehow parting gets more and more difficult each time.
I am ill, again. But guess what... It is something different this time...
The kids and I have doctors appointments "en masse" next week.
My Dad's dog died.
The money situation is still crap!



And:
My life has just gotten a lot more complicated (as if it wasn't enough already...)

Out of the blue I got an email from my former sister-in-law saying that they have been looking for us for the past seven years and that they want to get in touch again (and stay in touch). Heck I now even know where my ex husband is...
Now all of a sudden, we have Nanny and Papa and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and most important of all a half brother, that want to have contact with the girls and me. I think it is great!!!
What I am not so sure about is their father.
Of course it is their right to get to know their father, it's just that I know him and from what I heard so far, he hasn't changed much...
I told him to write a letter to his daughters explaining why he has not bothered to get in contact in ten years.
To be perfectly honest, I am not looking forward to having to have conversations with him in the slightest.
At least the girls can go into this without prejudice as I have never said one ill word about him.
My eldest doesn't want to have any contact though, as she says, that he has not cared for the past 10 years, so why should she?
And the little ones first thought was: "What is Daddy going to think?" (Daddy being Simon) She was really worried, that her wanting to get to know her birth father (what she calls him) would hurt Simons feelings which of course both he (Simon) and I assured her would not be the case.
Oh, this is getting way too confusing...

"Nothing" or "How to make mouse ears?"

So I had no idea how to start this post or what picture to use so I googled "nothing".
This is what I found and I think it is quite profound for "nothing"




My eldest is on her way to recovery and we have her best friend is her for the weekend as her mother is away.

I found out, that her best friend played truant a few times in the last few weeks.
Her mum leaves for work shortly before best friend (bf in any later mention) leaves for school and today, she decided that she wasn't going to school as she felt a bit ill...
Thing is, the only reason I found out was because my younger one picked her up from home as of course she was supposed to come to my house after school.
For my youngest, however school was out 45 minutes earlier than my eldest (who is in the same class as bf but stayed home as she was still not feeling too great this morning).
Therefore bf was here to early. When I questioned her, she admitted that she had stayed home today and initially said, that her mum knew...
I however had spoken to her mother earlier and she had said that she had told bf to come here straight after school.
So first of all I told my daughters off for covering for her (not this time but the times previous) although I am not sure they actually knew that bf's mother did NOT know and then I had a long talk with bf and I told her that I was not going to tell her mother but she needed to! And I also told her to ask her mother to tell me that she told her.
She did not look happy but agreed.

I am not sure why she did it.
Bf spends most days and quite some nights at my house, because her mum is a single, full time working mum. It does not bother me as my kids get along a lot better with each other when she is here.
However I am worried about her behavior.
I think I am going to have a chat with her mother when she talks to me about bf's truancy.




I have to come up with a way of making mouse ears and mouse tails for my girls until Monday!
They are in a play and my younger one is a stuck up, little, white mouse that wears a fancy dress and has white and pink ears and a sleek white tail.
My older one is Daddy mouse who has to wear a suit and tie and has grey and pink ears and I am not sure what colour her/his tail is supposed to be...
Why on earth they couldn't do their costumes in school (like they did last year) I don't know.
Well they sprung this on me and now I have to make it possible like any super-mum can...


Tomorrow we will get our Christmas decorations out and put them up, bake some cookies and in the evening some friends are coming round to make stars with silver wire and small glass beads. They are really quite pretty!


Here is the beginning of one and an article that was in the paper about my mum giving courses on how to make them. (In German just in case you are wondering why you can't read it... lol)

Another one of those boring posts...

I really have no idea what to write here but I feel the overwhelming urge to write something...
Well, Simon is back in the UK and parting does not get any easier. You'd think that after almost two years of this backwards and forwards thing we would be used to it by now, but it seems to be getting more difficult each time (to say goodbye I mean).
Well, he will be back after Christmas.
My first Christmas without him in four years...

Oh, I have been coughing all night. Guess I caught the virus that seems to be going around, well at least one of them as there are several...

The dance recital went really well. My younger one chased down a local celebrity and got his autograph and now she is in love... LOL
The lad is a really good dancer though so at least she has taste.
And her infatuation is of the harmless, silly kind, so I am not really worried.

Well, my older one is staying home from school today as she has an upset tummy... (Seems like she caught one of the other viruses...)
Great! This tends to mean that it is first her, then her sister, then me and then them again... Especially since things never seem to last very long with the kids but linger for weeks with me as my immune system is shot to pieces, thanks to my illness and the various meds...
Simon tends to tease me saying that I should wear a bell shouting "unclean, unclean" in these situations.
Bet he's glad he's not here for this!

Enough rambling for now...
I think I am heading back to bed myself.

So it wasn't chicken...

OK, after all this no turkey thing we were going to have chicken...
Well the chicken turned out to be guinea fowl and I tell you what:

Turkey for Thanksgiving????
Na!
I am going to have guinea fowls from now on!

They were absolutely delicious!!!!!
(We had two of them)

Forgot to take a picture so googled one :-)

Along with it we had green beans with bacon, Brussels sprouts, sweetcorn, sweet potatoes and because we had a "non poultry eater", Simon turned a leg of beef off the bone into Beef Medallions in a thick beef and onion gravy (yummy).
To round it off we had home made Latte Macchiato and pumpkin pie and an apple cinnamon crumb top pie.
So all in all it was a "heart attack on a plate"! (Calorie and cholesterol wise I mean)


And... (Best of all)
The evening turned out very nice, with almost no arguing and everybody being happily stuffed to the brim!

He called....

Guess what!

My brother called!
Acting like nothing ever happened...
So what do I do?
I go along with it, for peaces sake...
I wish family was a bit easier!

I am picking Simon up from the Airport tonight.
We are going to spend a great long weekend together despite the "family Thanksgiving" on Sunday which has a bad omen hanging above it like the sword of Damocles already as my mother forgot to order the turkey and now we are having chicken...!!!

Bye Bye Baby!

Somehow this updating regularly business really isn't working properly at the moment. For all the good intentions I just don't have the drive for it at the moment.
Maybe it is because in the last few months I have had to come to terms with one very difficult fact.
I will never have another Baby!
I am currently having medical treatment leading up to surgery because I have problems with my "female bits".
So the treatment I am getting is not only putting me artificially into menopause (at 30!!!!!!!!) but I also have pretty much every side effect that is in the book!
Including depression!
And depression is definitely a downer when it comes to doing anything, regularly...

Well (or not for that matter), as I already said, I will never be able to get pregnant again. The surgery will take care of that.
And I know what people will say, are saying:
"But you already have two beautiful daughters!"
I know I do.
and
"There are so many women that have the same problem and no children!"
I know that as well.

It still does not change the fact, that first of all, I really wanted to have a child with Simon and also that it closes a chapter I am just not ready to close yet.
I have tried to explain to Simon, why this was upsetting me so much and I honestly couldn't find the words to explain it. All I know, is that I am feeling a severe sense of loss.
Maybe "grief" is the right word? Grief for a baby, that in a way I was looking forward to welcoming into this world and that I will now never meet?
Does that make sense?



On top of that all the other medical problems are piling up and are getting on top of me and all the different treatments are driving me nuts.
The painkillers make me drowsy and tired, one is making me nervous and another one is making me nauseous...
So i have decided to do one thing after another much to the dismay of my health insurance who think, that I should be doing everything all at once so they don't have to pay up for such a long time, no matter how much a toll it takes on my body and my mental health...
Bureaucrats!



Apart from that we are keeping busy...
The kids are in a play at school which I am going to have the privilege of watching on the 18th of December, although I don't know which of my children I will be seeing, as there are two casts for the play because there were so many kids wanting to participate this year.
The younger one has decided take up gymnastics and Jazz Dance She has left Football (Soccer) after having been driven away by some unruly boys earlier this year.
She has given it some thought though and decided to go back this Friday and tough it out! Good for her.

The older one is still doing Irish Dance and has her first hard shoe performance this upcoming Monday! I think I am almost as nervous as she is.



Simon is coming on Friday and we will be celebrating a late Thanksgiving on Sunday, which reminds me that I still have to go to the local farmer and get a turkey.For a strange reason I am actually looking forward to a day of cooking and doing dishes...

There is only on snag with Thanksgiving this year. I have had a falling out with my brother and I don't think he will be coming. I think it actually hurts me more than him...
I really want to reconcile things with him but I can't quite get myself to make the first step, again!
He said some things, that really hurt me and he, again, has not kept promises he made to me and the kids. And I don't know, how I am going to approach him without giving him the impression that it was OK to treat us the way he did. But I do know, that if I don't make the first step I will probably never talk to my brother again...

Oh and I bought myself an alto flute so I can accompany my older one on the recorder. No I have to practise reading music again...
We are endeavoring to play some Christmas music at our pre-x-mas-chill-out evening, an event I have called into live in order to have some calm time before Christmas as nowadays it is always so hectic!
So a few friends of ours and us are meeting to have a nice relaxed evening with cookies and carol singing, where we can remember the true meaning of Christmas! Sounds cheesy I know, but it is really cool!


I think I am doing a good job repressing my pain, don't you?...
Sorry, sarcastic, evil Jeannine has the upper hand lately.

13... 第十一部份 (#11)

Thirteen Things about my Dad!

1…. He was born in 1940 in New Orleans, Louisiana

2…. He wrote his High Schools (Destrehan High) Alma Mater and the Fight Song. They still sing it today at every school function and game.

3…. He is responsible for my taste in music! :-) (Well, the majority anyways...)

4…. He is the "go to" person for anything Jazz, Blues and Classic related.

5…. He was a lab tech in the Army

6…. He can sing, play the piano and the drums.

7…. He has read sooo many books, they are piled up next to the book shelves.

8…. He used to sing me to sleep when I was little and it was always either "Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra" or " Daddy's little Girl". I now sing those songs to my children.

9…. Sometimes he used to tell me a story instead and it was "Goldilocks", "Jack and the Beanstalk" or "The three little pigs".

10…. We both read the last Harry Potter Book (The Half Blood Prince) at the same time to see who finished first. He was one hour and 14 minutes quicker than I with a total of 18 hours and 29 minutes!

11…. He used to be a Square Dance Caller, one of the first in Germany. From 1959 to 1968 and then from 1990 until 2004.

12…. His favorite actress is Audrey Hepburn. He really loves her in "My fair Lady" and "Sharade".

13…. I reunited him with his mother in 2001 (after 32 years) and he talks to her almost every day now.

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