Every year around Christmas time I get sentimental. I dream of a perfect Christmas, knowing that in actuality it will be far from it. Most years my Christmases are "tainted" by arguments and disappointments.
But still I hope...
I dream of Christmases past and one of my fondest childhood memories is my family and standing next to the tree, my father sitting at the piano and us all singing carols.
Christmas back then was perfect!
I wish I could spend one more Christmas with my father...
Was it that because I was a child I did not notice the problems?
It saddens me that I can't seem to be able to recapture and recreate that magic??
When I was little we used to invited single soldiers that were stationed in Germany to our house for Christmas, so they could spend the holidays with a family instead of alone in their barracks.
I remember Kenny and his huge grin, with brilliant white teeth, I remember Charles holding me in his arms keeping me safe from "Knecht Ruprecht" when St. Nicolas came to see us.
Christmas used to hold such a wonder for me.
Is it strange that I do not want to be disillusioned?
Is it odd, that I choose to believe?
2 comments:
Hello again, you are not alone.
Christmas' were always special as a child but now they are deeply unmoving.
Of course there are fleeting moments of joy but with two girls now living away and Harriet (18) pregnant I wonder where those little angels that I bore had disappeared to. Life is a cycle and sadly I don;t feel like I am in the race any more.
J - you are not alone.
Love Kimberley xx
Dear Kim,
it is so good to hear from you again! What has happened? (A lot it seems)Call me! Or send me an email and I will call you and we can chat. I lost all your details when my old pc died.
Lots of hugs and love,
Jeannine
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