How am I? Really?

Someone sent me an email today asking me
"How are you? I mean, how are you really?"
It made me think...

How am I, really?

I am struggling with my illness, it is playing havoc with my body.
There is something new wrong about every five minutes. At least it feels like that.
The only drugs that help me with the pain are so strong that I feel all "mushy" and "out of it" when I take them. So I don't take them unless I really can't stand it anymore.
The pain on the other hand makes me aggressive, short tempered and I am always tired.
I don't sleep well and of course, it feels like on big "merry go round" without the merry!

My kids are doing their job and driving me crazy.
They argue... Boy, do they argue!
Watching them sometimes makes you forget they are little girls. When you sort of glance at them out of the corner of your eye while they are going at it you get the impression there are two little Banshees screaming their heads of and tearing each others hair out...
And by the sound of their waling at times, it really does sound like one or the other is about to die...

I do love them dearly!

My work or rather non work situation really frustrates me. Every time I seem to get on my feet with it, my health or something else thwarts my plans.

I need money!
I need work!
I need a break!
I need Simon!
I need a secretary to sort all my paperwork.
I need a nice person that comes along and says "Oh, you want to properly furnish your school? Here is the money and the workers and do you need anything else?"!
I need this stupid illness to magically disappear!
I want my friends right here with me and not halfway across the world!
I need one day, just one day without pain!

So how am I? Well, you figure it out...