Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh my

Remember I wrote a poem called "A Thousand Goodbyes" a while back. Well, I submitted it to a poetry contest and I would be grateful, if you could vote on it.
Rate my poem
Thank you! :-)

I have not been posting much again, mainly due to the fact, that I am really not well. Painkillers stopped working (again) so (quite obviously) the pain was/is getting worse. My doc prescribed straight up Morphine now...
As you might know, I am actually quite against strong painkillers like that so I only take it when all else fails and I can't cope without anymore.
Why? Well, just look at the list of side effects:

• shallow breathing, slow heartbeat;

• seizure (convulsions);

• cold, clammy skin;

• confusion;

• severe weakness or dizziness; or

• feeling light-headed, fainting.

• constipation;

• warmth, tingling, or redness under your skin;

• nausea, vomiting, stomach pain, diarrhea, loss of appetite;

• dizziness, headache, anxiety;

• memory problems; or

• sleep problems (insomnia).

I have most of those anyways, so taking medication that will cause or possibly increase them, does not bear great prospects for me!
Oh well, let's see how this all progresses.
I need to go back into hospital fairly soon because they might have to replace the shunt, as it is not working anymore. I wish there was an easier way to do all this. I really don't fancy having my head shaved, again! I know it sounds so trivial in comparison, since it is just hair, but I would really like to keep it!
Running around with a shaved head makes it so obvious to everyone. People look at you and think "poor woman". They treat you differently and even though, ten years ago, I would have given anything to have a visible sign of my illness, I really don't want and need that anymore.
Why did I want to have physical, visible evidence of my illness, you wonder?
I wasn't diagnosed with pseudotumor until 2001. Until then, I knew something was wrong but no one else believed me. I was considered a hypochondriac, a malingerer and since only very specific tests reveal the pseudotumor (tests, that unless he know what you are looking for no doctor would perform) I had no proof. As a result, I began to question my own sanity.
So when the ER (A&E) doc, who treated me after a black out said that he might have an idea what it was and that he needed to run some tests, I was so relieved.
Strange isn't it? When someone tells you that you are very ill , and it is an alleviation rather than "bad news".
So as I said, back then it would have been, lets say "useful" to have something that showed my illness but now I find it more of a burden.
Oh and I hate wigs, so that is sort of out of the question. Guess I have to revert to a bandanna or something like that. Just have to find one that I like - I am rather picky with those.
And then I have to keep my kids from borrowing them all the time... :-)

So I guess it is off to see the wizard, soon.
Wonder whether he could give me a new body...?